Confessions of an Amazon-holic

Part I

It all started with not having enough time to buy paper towels. I mentioned this to my friend, who casually suggested she buys them (for cheaper!) on Amazon.

Wait, what? Online shopping is convenient, you say? And every penny pincher’s dream?

I could not believe I had resolutely trudged my way to the supermarket every Sunday, smiling politely when (the same) two kids ran over my foot with a shopping cart. I quickly tallied up the time I waited in line while (the same) woman ahead of me bought two aisle’s worth of products. It was enough for at least a pedicure, a pumpkin spice latte, and a quick facial. It was what dreams were made of.

On the surface, it seemed like I had happened across a genie. The problem? I was still stuck in my old school ways and skeptical of the process. What if they lost my package in transit? What if I bought what look like luxuriously thick paper towels and I received scratchy one-ply toilet paper? And, worse still, what if they are delivered to my neighbor (who hasn’t forgiven me or my dog for doing his business exclusively on her front door mat for a number of years)?

Alas, when you have kids, you don’t have the time to steep in your doubts and fears. You are too busy entertaining theirs. Desperate times called for desperate measures, so I downloaded the Amazon app.

And ladies, it was miraculous.

My favorite brand of paper towels safely tucked away in my cart, I wondered how many other essentials were waiting to be added. Boxes of tissues? Omega fish oil capsules? Refills for my Swiffer? I felt giddy, excited, and a few years younger (I realized later, my wallet was a few weeks’ worth of paychecks shorter, too).

About an hour later, I became aware of the considerable complications of online shopping: firstly, it’s convenient enough where you can’t stop, and secondly, when did I add those pair of leather-slash-suede loafers?

So started the guilt phase of my addiction. I could not look at my phone without having to look down in shame. The whole range of emotions was suspiciously reminiscent of my Christmas shopping tradition (more on that later). How could so much exhilaration lead to so much regret?

Oh, and then, a couple of days later, I saw the brown packages lined up at my door. Out went the guilt, and in came the rush of anticipation, appreciation for how far humans have come, and adoration for this fabulous website.

It truly was what dreams were made of… or, was it?

(Part II coming soon)